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Sayings of our Prophet (pbuhahf) and Imams (as) on children.

LONG BUT WORTH READING - LONG BUT WORTH READING.

DEVELOPMENT OF CHILDREN

Excerpts from the book- Marriage to Parenthood (available on islamicmobility.com)

It is narrated from the Prophet (s): “Like your children and treat them with affection and kindness. When you make a promise

to them, you must keep it, because children consider you their sustainer.” (al-Kafi, vol. 6, pg. 49)

One of the duties of parents is to foster the innate nature of telling the truth in children. Their behaviour in the house should be such that this becomes a habit. However, this is one of the more difficult areas of
raising a child and attention to knowledge and action is very important.

It is narrated in a tradition from the Prophet (s): “May Allah (swt) have mercy on the person that helps his child in (doing) good.” The narrator of the tradition asked: “How?” In his reply, the Prophet (s) gave 4 instructions:
a. Whatever the child has in his power and has carried out, accept it.
b. Don’t expect that which is hard for him.
c. Prevent him from sin.
d. Don’t lie to him, or do silly things.

Cuddling and kissing a child is one of their soul-foods, and it is necessary that enough of this is given to them. One of the reasons that a child is crying may be that they are thirsty for this expression of love.
Children who grow up with plenty of love have confident personalities which are not swayed by the difficulties that crop up in life.

It is narrated from Imam as-Sadiq (as): “Certainly Allah (swt) shows mercy upon His servants who have strong love for their off- spring.”
(Bihar al-Anwar, vol. 103, pg. 7)

It is also narrated from the Imam (as): “Prophet Moses (as) said the following to Allah (swt) when he was on the mountain of Tur: “O Allah (swt)! Which act is the best one according to you?” Allah (swt) replied: “Loving children is the best act.”

There should be a difference in the order and expectations of the behaviour of a child inside the home, and out. At home, allow the child to play freely.

When instructing your child, don’t mention the names of other children constantly, or compare them with others.

The mischievousness of your child in the early years is a sign of increased intelligence in the older years, so you shouldn’t be too worried or punish it too much.

It is narrated from Imam as-Sadiq (as): “When our children reach 5 years of age, we tell them to pray Salat, so you tell your children to do this when they reach 7 years of age; and we tell our chidren at the age of
7 years to fast however much they have the ability to, half a day, or more, or less, and to break their fast when they become hungry or thirsty so that they get used to fasting and develop the ability for it, so you tell
your children at the age of 9 years to fast however much they have the ability for, and when thirst overcomes them, to break their fast.” (al-Kafi, vol. 3, pg. 409, no. 1)

It is also narrated in a tradition: “We command our children to (do) the tasbih of Hadrat Fatima, just like we command them to (pray) Salat.” (al-Kafi, vol. 3, pg. 409, no. 1)

Do not be quick to accuse your children of lying because until 5 years, real lying or lying out of self-interest is rare; rather it is due to their active imagination, related to playing or creating astonishment in
others, or to the child’s exploration of the self.

Do not condemn a child who has tired you with their questions, as this weakens their sense of curiousity.

Try not to quarrel, especially in front of the child, as this troubles them greatly and affects their personality.

It is narrated from Imam as-
Sadiq (as): “The worst fathers are those who, in their goodness and love
towards their child, go over the limits and incline to excesses.”
(Tarikh Yaqubi, vol. 3, pg. 53)

Inculcate the love of Ahle Bait (as) & Holy Quran in them:

Imam ‘Ali (as): “The hearts of youngsters
are like uncultivated ground, it accepts whatever is strewn on it.
(Nahjul Balagha, Letter 31)

Mohtaje Dua.

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